I know what I say won’t matter because in the end you are going to do what you want, that’s what you usually do. Do I like her as a person? Yes I do. Do I like you guys in a relationship? No. No I absolutely don’t. You change around her. And I see it. It gets me so upset and every time she’s here we usually fight. It makes me hate you so much. I don’t like her because she just doesn’t flow with the type of family we are. She’s picky, and quite frankly, won’t put it upon herself to try any of our customs. Every time my parents say, “why don’t you invite her”, I roll me eyes in despair because I know the event will be less fun. Less what my family is like. Maybe it’s because I’m comparing her to another girl who blend with our family so well. She added on to jokes, she made her own jokes, my mom likes her better.

I don’t know my point in writing this. I’ve written it before and my stance stays the same. I understand you are happy, but you weren’t always happy with her. But whatever you want. Just leave me out of it.

At the end, we are all ignorant. Because ignorance is bliss. And everyone wants to be blissful.

I’m in too deep.

Then screams because he’s so cute. I shouldn’t be feeling this towards him. It’s not a like. It’s just the nice feeling of talking to someone I guess. I should stop though. This can’t go any farther.

In the morning, this guy texted me and was like “I couldnt fall asleep last night I had no one to talk too”. So i just responded “Awh go to sleep now blah blah blah blah….” Then he replied “I was hoping you stayed awake.” I don’t even know what to text back. I hate cute shit. I mean, I like it, but I hate it because I never know what to d or say back. All I can think of as replies are dumb things.

I don’t know why. But I keep remembering the good days. Missing the old you. It’s so weird though. I guess, I figured if you did it once you’ll do it again. I know it’s not like that. You’ve changed. Your intentions have changed. I’ve changed. My feelings have changed. But, oddly enough, I still have faith in you. Even though, I don’t like you now. I still faith have in us. Maybe not now or not in a couple months, I just have this feeling that we might actually work out. We just need the right timing. I might be fooling myself with this idea. I guess I’m just in love with the idea. And once you have an idea, it’s so hard to stop yourself from making it reality.

I shouldn’t hype myself about this. Because I don’t want to be let down if it doesn’t happen. If it did happen, it would be really nice.

So before you do anything, calm down and think rational again.